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Rights and Abilities — 2 Comments

  1. This publication is quite educative and inspirational, no sentiments attached. Talking about bullying; what’s wrong in a parent flogging a child some strokes of the cane as a disciplinary measure? “Spare the rod, you spoil the child” should be a good-enough food for thought, because some children are borne wild, aggressive,thieves, disobedient, lazy in domestic terms,and etc of this like. How do we mould them into some sort of responsible children/citizens without some lashes?

  2. The main way we get our children to become responsible adults is by acting responsibly ourselves. Children learn from imitating us.

    Sometimes punishing is warranted, especially when a child has committed real damage. But for the punishment to be effective and moral, it should fit the crime. This usually involves making restitution to victims.

    There is a big problem when it comes to punishing children for the way they treat each other. And most often, the bad treatment hurts their feelings; it doesn’t damage their bodies or property.

    When we get in the middle of spats between children, we think that the problem lies between the two of them and our intervention is just an objective response to the problem. What we fail to realize is the the moment we intervene, we become part of the equation. Parents are the most important people in the world to each child. They want to feel that the parent loves them and is on their side. When we start investigating what happened, getting us on their side is almost always more important to them than anything they had been fighting about. They become prosecuting attorneys against each other, trying to get their sibling in trouble with the most important people in the world to them.

    Which ever way the parents decide, the two children are still angry with each other over what they had been fighting about because they didn’t work anything out with each other. The loser is even angrier at the sibling who “won,” and is angry at the parent as well. So that child wants revenge and will look for an opportunity to get back both at the sibling and at the parent.

    Same thing happens when the school authorities get involved in social problems between students.

    The best thing is to help kids learn to solve their social problems on their own.

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